


Holes in the Mind (And the Heart)

by AcademicRebel



Category: X Men, X Men (Movies), X Men: The Movies
Genre: M/M, mostly canon, up until logan gets to the school, veeeery angsty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-07
Updated: 2013-08-07
Packaged: 2017-12-22 16:32:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/915472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AcademicRebel/pseuds/AcademicRebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The five times Logan wishes he could remember. And the one time he didn't need(/want) too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First (and Definitely not the Last)

**Author's Note:**

> It's mostly canon up until Logan meets the X-Men. The Scott/Logan doesn't begin until at least the third dabble(/flash fiction).

“Do you know her?” the odd man asks.

I don’t even know myself.

Or you, god what’s happening? Who am I, what am I doing here? There was a huge hole in my head. I can’t remember anything. I’m on my knees in front of a body, and can’t remember my name, where I’m from or how to describe this feeling. And yet seeing this dead woman that I don’t even know makes me want to breakdown. Lifeless eyes and a hole in her stomach- like the one in my head. Black hair splayed like a halo on dusty godforsaken ground, too pale skin is turning grey, and blood had stopped flowing not long ago. I sniff, her scent still lingered; a mix vanilla and cinnamon, comforting and _familiar_. But this was weak under the scent of crimson life force that stained her angelic image.

Who was she? Did I know her? What’s this feeling? The Woman seems distorted as tiers gathered in my eyes. What’s this feeling? Hopelessness, misery, grief? _She’s so familiar_. My hand moves on its own accord and shuts her eyes- and suddenly she seems much more peaceful. Then I’m faced with a rush of a new emotion, pure animalistic _rage_. It rushes through my veins burning all other feelings. _Again, familiar_. Who was she? Was she important to me? No matter how much I such my brain, I come up empty. Who is the angelic woman who lies dead on the ground? I try and try; I hope and wish and pray that I will remember. But somewhere in my mind I knew this image will be the center piece of nightmares. My mouth operates on its own accord and surprises the both of us.

“No, I don’t.”


	2. The Second (But First in Fifteen Years)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fifteen years later.

Fifteen years later it’s a scent that distracts him enough to take a few hits in the ring. He wins of course and goes to the bar to get a drink, in a sort of trance. That scent left him dazed. He had smelled it before but this was different, _more familiar_. It was mutant scent, not quite human but not anything else really. More human with that underline scent of vanilla. Like the angelic woman with the hole in her stomach not to different from the one - _still_ \- in Logan’s head.

So lost in the only part connected (maybe) to his lost past he almost missed the source of the scent sit down near him. He sniffed; the kid had obviously awakened her powers if the intensity of her smell was anything to go by. Not the only one he’d seen in a decade and a half but a powerful one. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts he nearly missed the guy he beat the crap out of not an hour earlier. _Damn I gotta stop doing that_. He quickly took care of the three guys and left. Trying to forget about the mutant girl in the bar she looked too young to be in.

Instead his mind wondered to the Woman that lay dead on the island. It’s been nearly ten years since he even thought about his missing memories. So why is he thinking about it now? Was that mutant he saw/smelt connected to him somehow? But once again she didn’t even look old enough to be. Was she related to the Woman? No, she looked completely different from the woman, _more alive,_ he snorted. For some reason when he found the kid had hitched a ride a harsh wave of Déjà vu fell over him.

He wished he knew why.

"Get out.” he grunted, and picked up her bag and drops it in the snow. The kid did as told.

"I saved your life." a southern accented voice calls meekly. He nearly pauses in his trek to get back into the driver seat, nearly.

"No, you didn't." He got in and started driving. Five seconds later he stops.

"Fuck."  He lets her catch up and when the door opens, wonders why he did.


End file.
